urban dictionary

Soccer Studs according to UrbanDictionary.com This is seriously funny stuff, if you follow soccer in any way.

Ashley Cole: A name used to describe somebody who is only motivated by money. They will throw all their toys out of their pram when they have being caught doing something that they shouldn’t.

 Diego Maradona: Cheating short, fat, ugly little Argentinean; fair enough he was the best player in the world between 84-88.

 Peter Crouch: Without doubt, the finest footballer taller than 8 feet in the universe.

 Pele: The greatest footballer ever. True gift for the Brazillians and football world.

 Paul Cascoigne: Took his team single handedly to the Italia 90 semi finals; 90s term for “cry like a baby.”

 Cesc Fabregas: Arsenal’s prized possession and can pick a pass anywhere on the field.

 Cristiano Ronaldo: Douche; pretends he’s hurt when nobody even came near him.  But has some skill when it comes to soccer.

 Arsene Wenger: Manager of…, the best thing that has happened to football in England since studs on boots, with intellect comparable to Einstein.

 Wayne Rooney: A highly talented, yet fowl tempered English footballer. Possesses the ability to look like both Shrek and a potato.

 Didier Drogba: Besides being 6 foot 3 and a little over 200 pounds, he can be found flopping all over the pitch in a “theatrical performance.”

 Steven McClaren: The wally with the brolly, who caused England non-qualification to Euro 2008.

 Lionel Messi: One day God decided to make the greatest player ever. However, it got ruined so He named it Cristiano Ronaldo. He then tried again and truly made the best player ever.

 Steven Gerrard: To impact a soccer game in such a way that you by yourself orchestrated a massive comeback for your team after being a few goals down.

 Titus Bramble: What a shambles; I just messed up; awful Wigan defender (now Sunderland).

 Thierry Henry: To be called (name) is to be called a cheating French scumbag in Ireland.

 Rafael Benitez: A person who is laughably bad at his/her job, but refuses to acknowledge it; to find excuses when the only excuse is one’s own ineptitude.

 David Beckham: Britain’s most sellable face. His brains are located in his right foot.

 Ronaldinho: Only the most amazing soccer player in the present world. However, his teeth are a little big -just a little.

 John Terry: A very good but very over rated English central defender; a sexual euphemism for banging your best friend’s wife/girlfriend 

Jose Mourinho: Not only does he make whichever team he coaches win, he is also hilarious.

 Frank Lampard: Has made the scoring of deflected goals an art form.

 Zinedine Zidane: (verb) Irrational act of head butting during a crucial moment and being caught in the act by a third-party.

 Andres Iniesta: He a higher truth who will most likely shit on the face of your football team.